Phyllis Johnson Blog

He Prepares a Table Before Me in the Presence of my Enemies…

admin — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 15:55:16 +0000

I realize I run the risk of “broken record” syndrome when I constantly refer to 2004. That was the year my life imploded and fell apart. It really is ground zero of my emotional, physical and spiritual life. It was out of that season that I learned the most about the character of God and His leading. I basically have a tattoo of His writing on my heart that says, “God’s will never takes you outside of His ways.” 2004 was intense, and as most of us do when we are holding on by a thread, I turned to the Psalms. If anyone talks about enemies…the writers of the Psalms do, especially David! At first I read those Psalms from the angle of needing God’s deliverance from other’s deception, lies and falsehoods. The more I read them, the more God revealed to me that my most dangerous enemies were those of my soul.

I was in far more dangerous peril if bitterness, revenge, unforgiveness, or hate were taking up residence in my heart than I was from any lie or plot against me. How did God prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies? It was through His grace!

I am a passionate person and the down side of that are strong emotions. When negative emotions would flood me and my reactions became “telling”, I would sob in prayer to Him. I was weak and felt overwhelmed with a desire to defend myself. When I would turn to Him instead of turning to my desire, His presence would come upon me, and I would feel Him tenderly say, “My grace is sufficient.” He continued to strengthen me to the point of having total freedom to be willing to be misunderstood and being at rest in my soul. Yes things still stung my heart when I would hear the swirl of gossip, but He prepared a table of joy, peace, serenity, stillness of heart, focus, and hope for me to feast on when by all outward standards I should be totally falling apart.

When more devastating news would reach my ears, He continually reminded me of how much power I had through prayer, His Word and praise. I would eat from that lovely table of His goodness and find strength and perseverance beyond measure! Wave after wave of His love would enfold me as I drew close and closer to His heart. As the enemies of my soul stalked me, I constantly found God more than willing to trade me serenity for drama, peace for turmoil, joy for anger, focus for chaos, confidence for fear, purpose for devastation and hope for defeat.

When despair should have sucked me under, I felt nourished at His feast of grace.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5

Cherished by God

admin — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 20:28:04 +0000

God has been relentless in His pursuit of me. I have so many memories of “God moments” from my childhood. From sitting in church watching the faces of adults in worship, to moments at the altar, to feeling his presence in our family devotions…God has been insistent in proving His love for me.
In my adult years though, I slowly slid into a life of condemnation. Even though I was working in full time ministry, teaching others the Bible, being devoted to the Word and prayer, I subtly began to shift to a viewpoint that God was annoyed with me. Through vicarious shame for a situation I was living in, my lens for spiritual life warped. I began to live a life of devotion TO Him WITHOUT being able to receive FROM Him. I could pray for others, but could not go forward for prayer for myself. I could tell others about His grace, but could not apply it to myself. I could read of His love, but thought it was very technical…I couldn’t feel it. During this time I worked incessantly for Him. I stayed so busy “doing” I didn’t stop long enough to even feel my thirst for living water or feel the pangs of longing my dry soul was numb with. I was on a never ending treadmill of works and exhaustion from proving my love for Him….without allowing Him to touch my heart with His touch.
It all changed when He sovereignly plucked me out of that life. I began a season of life that in retrospect I can visualize God putting His hand upon me and holding me still until I stopped long enough to thaw out and decompress from a convoluted understanding of service versus sitting at His feet. As Martha evolved into Mary His love began to break through. His Holy Spirit began to dismantle the encasement of my heart as I lived in a situation where I could not DO ONE THING FOR HIM. I could only “be.” There were no teams to lead, no visions to cast, no projects to throw myself into, no classes to train, and no great events to plan. I spent hours soaking in His Word….not to teach…but to absorb. I lived for two years (one in Detroit and one here) with no TV, no internet, and hours of isolation. It was a world soaked in silence and listening to His voice. I would lie face down across my bed, weeping and softening in His presence as He tenderly rebuilt my heart. The technical love that I had known in theory began to live and breathe inside my soul. As He stripped away perceptions, strongholds, and misguided actions He replaced them with truth, freedom and motivation from the wellspring of His love.
When He decided I was a new creation, He again sovereignly put me back in ministry. I do lead teams now. I do cast vision. I do projects now. I do train and teach classes now. I do plan big events. I lead a very busy life …but I do it ALL from a very different place in my heart. I now allow HIM to empower me and give me wisdom. I don’t rely on Phyllis’ strength or wisdom. I now am hyper vigilant about solace, soaking in His presence, and allowing His Holy Spirit to lead me into all truth. I relish my love relationship with Jesus now and I don’t get my sense of identity from what I DO for Him but from what I receive FROM Him. He is lavish in His love, mercy, and grace. I take time to listen to Him. I take time to see Him. I take time to feel His presence. I take time to soak in His love. I feel bonded to His heart…and it is the most secure feeling in the world!
I am forever grateful that I am in relationship with a God who cherishes me and never stops wooing me with His love.

Lamenting…

admin — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:21:10 +0000

A dear friend in my Connect Group turned 60 this week and a few of us that are quickly approaching 60, lamented with her. That really makes us sound spiritual doesn’t it? It sounds so much better than…we complained with her.
Actually to lament means to vent, complain, grieve, hurt, cry or mourn. We have a book in the Bible named Lamentations which was written by Jeremiah and is a record of his sorrow over the hearts of the people of Jerusalem. When you read Lamentations, you can almost feel the tears dropping on the pages as you read. I will never be able to fathom the faithfulness of a man like Jeremiah that simply kept doing what God asked him to do for 40 heartbreaking years through absolute rejection, persecution and lack of results. But do you know who he poured his sorrows out to for forty years? God. God was big enough to turn to and lean on! The same God who gave him his spiritual mandate was his listening ear and source of strength, because Jeremiah continually lamented to God.
David lamented a lot! Many of his Psalms start with lamenting but end in praise as he pours his heart out to God. Abraham lamented over Sodom, Moses lamented over Israel’s stubbornness, Elijah lamented over the wickedness of Jezebel and the prophets of Baal, the disciples over the Pharisees and their plots, and Jesus lamented over the prospect of death on the cross. The Bible is full of stories of weak knee moments and sorrow as people pursued God’s purposes and surrendered to His plans.
Lamenting, weakness, sorrow, grief and tears are not sins.
However, where we turn and what we do with them, matters significantly.
David hit the nail on the head in Psalms 51 when he said, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise.”
Satan would like to convince us that we should stay silent with our lamenting…as though God isn’t big enough for it. My God who was big enough to listen to all of the Bible characters, as they lamented in seasons of refining and change, is big enough to listen to me. It is in the honesty of emotions that clarity comes and we are able to pin point exactly where we need God’s help. To stuff, ignore, pretend, or deny leads to a frozen hard heart of self reliance. When we carry our burdens alone, satan is able to isolate us and he has a captive audience with our mind and heart. To defeat him, turn to the One who is the anchor of your soul and with absolute honesty lament every fear, dread or anxiety you carry…He will come to you….He will deliver you!
Psalm 69:15-18 “Let not the flood sweep over me or the deep swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me O Lord for your steadfast love is good, according to your abundant mercy turn to me. Hide not your face from me for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul.”
David…a man after God’s own heart.

The Power of Discontent!

admin — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 14:23:53 +0000

We have not been plopped on this earth to fumble and stumble through life. We are not players in some cosmic Monopoly game where life is a dice and all is up to chance. Instead we are guided by an intimate God who never sleeps, who knows our lying down and our getting up! He collects our tears in a bottle, inclines his ear to us from the ends of the earth, and has given us everything needed for living a Godly life. (Ps. 121:4, Ps. 139:3 Ps. 56:8, Ps. 61:2 and II Peter 1:3)

Sheep must be led because they make very poor decisions on their own. I am no different. I have enjoyed the leadership of my Shepherd for 57 years. My very first recollection of His leading was when I was three and reached into a ladies purse (while she was at the altar praying) and relieved her of her red lipstick! As I sat by her on the pew that evening, all I could do was stare at her and think how beautiful her lipstick was. When she went forward for ministry time, I helped myself to a little glamor. Needless to say, God spoke through my parents that night. As recent as this morning, He led me regarding some plans I am finalizing. There are many ways God leads us.

One is through discontent!

I can look back on my life and see many times God allowed discontent to grow in my heart and it became an impetus of change. Peace is wonderful and we love those seasons of enjoying the goodness of God, but when a season of discontent descends on us….HE gets our undivided attention!

In 1979 I was a pastor’s wife serving at a wealthy, suburban church in the suburbs of Kansas City. We had a fat salary, great benefits, gorgeous home, and a brand new church building with savings in the bank. It was larger than the last church we pastored and the ladder climbing had begun! That was how success in ministry was “scored” and we were living the A+ life.
All of it came with a price. The board ran the church, they were against any evangelism to needy areas, only wanted a white collar membership, the service had to end at 12:00 sharp or they would simultaneously slap their Bibles shut in a symphony of leather, only hymns could be sung and don’t forget their mission statement…

“This is how we’ve always done it!”

I was not called to babysit…I was called to disciple. After two years of playing church with them, a friend called and told us of a group of 30 people meeting in the city of Detroit and would we consider moving to the inner city, with our three boys, for $100.00 a week and no benefits? Someone had given this group a little church that leaned to the left and when you were in the basement you could see outside because of a shift in the structure and the ceiling still had bullets in it from where they were held up at gunpoint during a service.

I BEGGED God to allow us to move to Detroit. Of course that was right where He was taking us and I fell in love with a city, a culture, and the people in such great need they would worship for hours and were insulted if you didn’t feed them from the Word for at least an hour. I loved children’s ministry in the projects and in the church. I loved the sounds, the smells, and the rawness of inner city life…but mostly I loved how my Shepherd knew exactly where I would thrive…where my heart could touch lives and I would be happiest in His service for 25 years.

I would never have been able to make the leap of faith to trust Him with my little boys and financial future had I not been so miserable… that anything was better than “that”. God can even use discontent to lead us to the next step on the path! He’s that good to us!

My Soul is Restored…

admin — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:16:49 +0000

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Revelation 7.

It moves me deeply to read of the culmination of our redemptive journey!

In my spiritual life I have wandered in wildernesses of my own making, valleys of life’s experiences, and mountain tops of God’s blessing! I have literally lived Isaiah 43:2. I have passed through waters of defeat and He was with me. I have walked through rivers of despair and they did not overflow me. I have stood in the fire of misunderstanding and not been burned. I have endured the flame of rejection and not been scorched.
All of those successes were to His credit….not mine.

His mercy has made me strong!

In this life, we become saturated and soggy with a “now focus” that weighs us down. When life presses in and the future seems exhausting, we lose sight of where our Shepherd is really leading us. In Psalm 23 we read what David understands of our wonderful Shepherd and His plan to guide us in this life. How exhilarating is it to know that when we join Him around the throne… when we pass from this life to the next….it is still our Shepherd who will lead and care for us through all eternity!

Revelation 7: 13-17 “Then one of the elders addressed me, saying “Who are these, clothed in white robes and from where have they come?” I said to him, “Sir you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.”

“Therefore they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple. He who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence! They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore. The sun shall not strike them or any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd. He will guide them to springs of living water and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”

The restoration of our souls will be complete. One day, as Revelation 7 says we will gather with every tribe and tongue before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and cry with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne and to the Lamb.”

Soul restoration is the sole job of Jesus. He alone paid the price with His blood and has the power to redeem, justify and cleanse. In this life, as we spiritually bow before His throne and apply His blood to our lives, we begin to ease into the mercy of His love and operate in the power of His grace…
and that my friend is where our souls are restored!

Soul and Heart Rest!

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:41:55 +0000

In the 23rd Psalm we see a clear blueprint for the journey God takes us on to bring us to contentment. There are few things in life as sweet as contentment.
Our soul cravings drive us toward mirages in life…those activities or things that appear to be pools of refreshing. Instead they are black holes of disappointment and despair. God…our Shepherd on high looks down and sees us anemic, drained and malnourished from our compulsive attempts to bring about contentment.
He “makes me lie down in green pastures.” Anyone who has been a parent knows the need to make our children, who become hysterical from sleep deprivation, lie down and take a nap. We do the same thing spiritually when we cry out to God in a delirious state of confusion when life presses in. After we have attempted to solve our own problems, have our own way, lead our own recovery, change our own character, mend our own burned bridges ….we eventually cry out in the delirium of spiritual exhaustion.
When we cry out, His answer is grace! As His love isolates us in His green pastures and beside His still waters, inner trustfulness develops in the One who delivers us from independence into dependence. From His bountiful supply of goodness, we rest. He leads us beside still waters….those waters of His divine presence that refresh us as His Spirit fills us and transforms our world quenching thirst.
As we are hydrated through His Word, His leading and His will….we realize the power of His peacefulness.
As our society pumps its agenda of frenetic living, overbooked calendars, and life on the run…He offers us an inner rest that becomes the Rock our life is founded on. Out of that core peace, we suddenly realize that we can do all things through Him who strengthens us because our life will take on an order designed by His heart and led by His hand!
He rescues us from the wanderings of self-destructive behavior and makes us lie down and experience His sustenance.
Oh the goodness of God…
Oh the pleasure of His revelation…
Oh the healing of His touch….
Oh the abundance of His love….
Oh the life of His living water!

I Want…

admin — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:03:48 +0000

We live in a world of clichés, hyper motivational posts, clever quotes, tweets, and catchy refrigerator magnets, designed to jolt us! They attempt to change our feelings by giving us just the inspiration or kick in the pants we need for the moment. Sometimes they cause us to ponder….sometimes they annoy us with their simplistic sappiness….and sometimes they birth an “aha moment” in us! I had an “aha” morning when I received this thought from a friend!

“How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much… that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

Even though my creative mind could see that on a lovely framed poster, it landed on my heart. The actual rousing in my soul was over the simple word “want”. A very unique chapter in my life story is that at the age of 50 I realized I had been living as a caterpillar. The pressures of that time catapulted my “want” into overdrive. I desired freedom in my soul and spiritual heart so much, that I was willing to allow God to constrain me, in His grip, no matter the cost. The “check it off my list/whirlwind Phyllis” simply had no more frenetic energy to outrun His will. What felt like a season of confinement and stillness turned out to be His hand forming my life His way. I will admit I had moments of spiritual claustrophobia! I had lived a large part of my adult life stuck in the caterpillar stage by avoiding the process required to allow my spirit to fly and soar in God’s promises. To emotionally, physically, and spiritually submit to His restraint transformed me. My “want” was my catalyst.

A happy life is not the result of chance. Life is full of spiritual processes…molding, stripping, refining , forming, sanctifying, cleansing and dying to name a few. These processes are skillfully handled by our loving Shepherd….our Lord….Jesus. Our Shepherd shares His life with us! IN HIM renovation happens. The resources He offers us produces a death to old ways of thinking, acting, responding and living and replaces it with freedom and liberty! As the 23rd Psalm so lovingly describes, I have a Shepherd that supplies my “want” with MAKING me lie down in green pastures. Green pastures are those spiritual places that force our soul to find rest, supply, and nourishment. It is a restful place close to His heart! When we allow that process, He is able to fill us up with still waters…the Spirit of God!

WANT is such a small but descriptive word. We have to “want” to experience the next level in our spiritual journey! Whether it is described as the want to transform from a spiritual caterpillar to a spiritual butterfly OR the want of green pastures and still waters of rest…it is our want that is our motivator. When motivation is fueled by want, and we turn to the God of the universe with our want…we live out II Corinthians 16-18 “But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into His glorious image.”

The same God who created the cocoon to transform a caterpillar into a butterfly is skillful enough to make you lie down in spiritual green pastures, is generous enough to lead you beside still waters, is purposed enough to change you! Through processes of want, we are changed into His glorious image!
It is a promise!

DESIRE….

admin — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 13:29:38 +0000

The human heart has cravings. We long for God who is eternal…. and settle for stuff that is external.
There was a popular Christian song in the 1970’s whose words are timeless.

The world may try to satisfy
That longing in your soul.
You may search the wide world over
But you’ll be just as before.
You’ll never find true satisfaction
Until you’ve found the Lord,
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
CHORUS:
Only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
Yes, only He can change your heart
And make you whole.
He’ll give you peace you never knew,
Sweet joy and love and Heaven, too.
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
If you could have the fame and fortune,
All the wealth you could attain.
Yet, you have not Christ within,
Your living here would be in vain.
There’ll come a time when death will find you,
Riches cannot help you then.
So, come to Jesus, only He can satisfy.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalms 107:9 For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

• True riches are found IN Christ! Eternal riches far exceed external riches.
• We have soul needs that when not met morph into a black hole of desire. When not met we turn to stuff, experiences and power control to satisfy our deep longing and are left feeling empty. Only GOD can satisfy the longing in our soul. To fill the hungry soul with goodness is to be full of God on the inside which produces contentment, peace and a steadiness in life. We aren’t left groping for soul band aids.
• When we delight ourselves in the Lord, he gives us the CORRECT desires. He knows that what we REALLY desire are things the Holy Spirit can work in our heart…not a new car. He knows that what we REALLY desire is God connection….not a new house. He knows that what we really desire is communion with Him….not new furniture. He knows that His Word brings strength….a new wardrobe doesn’t. He knows that a revelation of His deep and passionate love for us brings total joy….a piece of property won’t. He knows that time spent in His presence will fortify our ability to thwart unhealthy habits… an exotic vacation won’t.

Delight yourself in the Lord and your soul cravings will be met in such a way your heart will be totally free… beating methodically with the true desire He gives!

~Phyllis~

The Generous Heart!

admin — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:52:59 +0000

As a little girl, I remember getting ten dimes for my allowance every week and putting one dime away to take to church with me on Sunday. As early as I can remember God received HIS portion first because I had Godly parents that trained me up in the way I should go. Tithing became as natural as brushing my teeth. My parents lived lives of surrender to God and I watched them honor God with all of their resources!
I only remember struggling once in my life and that wasn’t over giving God His tenth, but WHERE to give God his tenth. I had received a settlement and wasn’t sure I wanted to give a tenth of it to my local church. Crazy I know…but I had a bout of “I want to give it to MY choice.” It is interesting that we love loop holes and technicalities when our knees get weak in faith. Thankfully I bounced it off a spiritual person who admonished me that I was missing the point. It was God’s money and I needed to give it to my local church with no strings attached…it was HIS to watch over. I obeyed and felt peace.
I am quite certain I am not the only one who has struggled with loop holes. Common questions are:
• Do I tithe on my gross or my net?
• Do I tithe on inheritances or just salary?
• Do I tithe on birthday gifts and wedding gifts….do I tithe on …..?
The correct question is, “Why wouldn’t I?” How we steward our time and our money reveals more about our surrender to God than anything because they are our most coveted resources. When I give of both, I free myself from being a dead end receptacle of God’s generosity and instead I am a living receptacle in which life flows through me, to others and back to God. We are made to be channels, not reservoirs. Giving changes us!
I love this quote by Selwyn Hughes. “I am sure you come across opportunities to be generous almost every day, and if you fail to respond to those opportunities, who knows what rivers will not flow, what great ministries will never come to birth, what mighty things will not get done? God has opened the door of generosity to you; don’t fail to open up the door of generosity to others.”
I agree with Paul and want to be someone God trusts to steward all His generosity!
Acts 20:35
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said,
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Connection and Prayer

admin — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 20:35:21 +0000

“For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers,
of the affliction we experienced in Asia.”
II Corinthians 1:8-11

If the apostle Paul felt it was important to get real, what is the take home lesson for us in this passage he wrote to the church in Corinth? Ignorant is a strong word that truly fits living in denial.

8 “For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we
despaired of life itself.”

Yes…committed, sold out men like Paul become burdened beyond strength. Elijah wanted to die immediately following the powerful manifestation by God on his behalf in front of the prophets of Baal. He ran into the wilderness and lay down to die. Jeremiah cried a lot and David lamented about dark times and sorrowful moments in the Psalms he composed. You can love God with all of your heart, yet pass through really tough days, weeks and years.

9 “Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.”

Let’s get real…it can feel like that.

10 “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 11 You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”

Paul knew the power of joint prayer. Prayer is the tool God has given us to fight life with. We must pray for ourselves and one another. The apostle had great confidence in the throne of grace, yet he desired the help of others prayers. We must help each other through prayer.

In February of 2009, I despaired of ever being in full time ministry again. The grief was deep and I longed to be in full time discipleship again. I was working at Job and Family Services and I came home from work one day and felt like I didn’t even want to face life anymore. I didn’t even get my coat off…I just stood and sobbed in my living room. Out of the blue my door opened and there stood my dear friend Pat Navin. She sized up the situation, told me to sit and proceeded to lay prostrate on the floor of my living room holding my ankles and praying in the Spirit. There she was in her beautiful blue business suit and heels…holding my ankles and praying. What humility. Something broke that day. My heart wanted to go on. I have no doubt my dear friend interceded on my behalf and God responded. Two months later our Senior Pastor asked me to apply for a position on staff and I eventually was hired.

Little did I know, two years to the month later, I would sit by her bedside and intercede on her behalf as she drifted from this life to the next.

We need each other to make it home!